Scientists discover The Shire. Tolkien celebrates in grave.

Hot off the press today there is a report coming out of Indonesia where Scientists have found the remains of the hobbits of middle earth, specifically the town of Hobbiton. Not only have they found the little Hobbits, but they have also found the remains of their pet mini-elliphants and a dragon, whom the scientists have warmly named, "Smitty."

One scientist says, "This is a great breakthrough for all those who love science and fantasy novels. Our pathetic dreams are finally coming true! I call Gandalf!" He then hopped away as if riding a horse with a hobbit skull clutched in his arm, screaming, "Don't you worry your buttons, little hobbit!"

Another one has stated, "Not only are we proving that man has been on the earth for hundreds of billions of years, but also that decomposing skull tastes like kippered steak."

Below are photos recovered from the scene:


A group of hobbit fellows, no doubt they had many a kegger together.



Here we find what these scientists theorize to be one mini-elliphant and "Smitty" on their daily romp through the park near Bag End.



J.R.R. Tolkien, whose supposed "fiction" novels have extensively mentioned hobbits such as these, has refused comment. Neighbors report maniacal laughter and sounds of the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" coming from the Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford, England.


Here is an artist's depiction of what may be the source of these strange noises.



There are now new questions raised by these findings, such as: How have the hobbits gone unnoticed for so long? What was the source of their demise? Why... WHY did Smitty have to DIE??

Tolkien...

I believe...

has the answers.